Ah I found the problem. I needed to take a break from coding

Solution

1. Don't sit in front of your computer writing code with a complete disregard for the passage of time.
2. Do take breaks so you don't end up making stupid design decisions
3. Instead of placing the markup inside the ajax call, just place the initial markup structure in the php script, so the entire DOM structure is available
4. Then using the ajax call, populate the necessary elements via jQuery.

Sorry folks, false alarm. I am an idiot